Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Where do I belong

Yesterday was a very frustrating day at work, Build a Bear. I was tired, as usual, probably from my San Diego visit ending just a few hours earlier. I get into the whole situation with 2 min to spare and get no info from the other manger even though I have been gone for 3 days.
I eventually made it onto the floor and the frustration immediately hit. that is definitely a sign that the day is not going to be a good one. I spent the rest of the evening basically not wanting to be there which is a new feeling for me at build a bear.
At most of my other stores I would love to be there. loved my team and loved what we did. i have gladly worked on every birthday I have had in the last 5 years and enjoyed it. I don't think this is gonna be the case this year.
I need to pray more and really get God involved in all that is happening. I hate being frustrated at work. I know he has me there for a reason but I almost want to just demote myself even more and not have to feel like I am sinking out of control at my current position, and be able to pretend I don't care, which even then would not be the case.
I hate feeling tired all the time. I hate keeping Brian up at all hours and I hate having to SCHEDULE time to be with those I love and care about.
I moved to be in the career I have dreamt about for 18 years and now I wonder if I was suppose to stay in San Diego. It seems that is where I enjoy myself and those I love are now there. Here I kept dreaming of coming home and now I wonder if I left it.

3 comments:

Emily said...

Hi Rhonda,

I have been praying for you this week. I hope that you've found some time to catch your breath. :/

Deanne said...

So sorry things have been stressful - I'll be praying for you!

But...give it time... you haven't been there long and you had established yourself in San Diego (or mostly established yourself)

Be Kind to Yourself :)
You are Beautiful and Gifted - they are lucky to have you!!
BIG HUG!!

Amy K said...

Hey Rhonda! Oh my goodness, I didn't follow your link from the blog comment you left for me until just a few days ago. I'm so dense, when you said we both know Emily Younger, I didn't realize we know eachother from "way back when" too ... until I went to your blog! It's good to catch up on how you're doing. I hope the job thing smoothes out for you--it's hard to go to a new place, everything is different (especially all the different personalities!). It's good to see you're able to work at the zoo, though, and do what you love.

Take care,
Amy